Chan's Personal Blog

I've been calling Thanksgiving Day, Liberty Bird Day in support of our American friends. This was inspired by this funny comic that came out during the run up to the Iraq war. The Americans didn't like the French because they were against the war, so the Americans renamed French Fries to Freedom Fries.



(Explanation: Turkey did not allow the Americans to invade Iraq from their soil which bordered northern Iraq, so the Americans were not pleased.)

// This blog entry is dedicated to all my Dutch friends.

When I was younger, I went to a predominantly Dutch school. Something was strange, I couldn't explain it, but I felt it. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is all around us. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. I could feel it when I went to school ... when I went to chapel.

And then... the truth was revealed to me in this news article from an authentic Dutch news source. They declare that the Dutch are the tallest people in the world. I KNEW IT! All my suspicions are true.

"[T]he last seven years showed increasing demand for larger clothing sizes in the Netherlands, where the average man is about 185 cm (6 foot 1 inch) tall. 'The Dutch are growing,' said GfK spokesman Koen Snoeren.

The Dutch are nearly 10 cm (four inches) taller on average than the British and Americans, and almost 15 cm (six inches) taller than they were four decades ago. GfK's analysis supports recent studies, including one for the Pan American Health Organisation, that ranks the Dutch as the tallest people on the planet."

This need to for larger clothes, greater heights than the Americans and British, what could all this mean? In my humble opinion, all signs lead to some Dutch conspiracy to invade Britain, then America.

"Studies by the Health Council of the Netherlands suggest the Dutch could grow another 10 cm (four inches) in the next few decades. But some data, including GfK's, also suggest junk food is limiting the health advantages that wealth has brought."

Ah! The Dutch apparently have a weakness. The Big Mac shall be their Achilles Heel. If you ever see me handing out free Big Macs and Fried Chicken to my Dutch friends, you'll know what I'm REALLY doing.... sabotaging their invasion force.

The article credits good hygiene, healthcare, and a dairy rich diet for the Dutch's height. My theory is that the Dutch's source of their super powers is their insatiable appetite for drops. Drops are those awful salty Dutch licorice things. I found a first hand account of someone enduring drops here.